When I was a kid and going to school, where I learned some really smart things about life and whatever, I decided that I already fingered out everything I needed to know about the public school system. From there I called it a day, but I left all that and learned the rest from the streets and by studying Britney Spears lyrics intimately. We’re friends you know already and she’s my best girl in every way so she’s done more for me as an empowered and powerful woman as anything you could imagine.

Before my girl came along it was all about the whole Choon and Word Coleaver thing (only heard about it, not totally sure what it means but it’s real) but I know what holesome family values are, and I know it super perfect because I got the hole of the holesome so shut up and listen, yeah?

Britney did some great stuff for us, most of it through her music. Don’t hate, just read.

Listen to her music, look at her awesome baby sis, and check it all out, we’ve got some great stuff going on here, there’s nothing wrong with sexuality as it is, you just have to be smart about it right. And check it out.

This is the whole message, teenage sexuality is perfectly normal.

Back in the day we all died at 25 or so, and we all had to cram in all our living before then. Surely you can agree that sitting down at a desk to work a life is unhealthy (I’ve hooked up with enough Dilberts to swear this it the real deal) so don’t be icky about it.

Anywhatever, who cares, whatever, check it out. Preteen sex is way old. Even the virgin Mary was a teeny, and a hotty hot enough to hit the hotspot of God himself, so don’t get all uptight about it. I’ll get into why I shear my crotch-hedge soon enough, but either way, you just gotta know that it’s all about me growing up and moving on which I did and it was fantastic.

Loved it, loved it, loved it, and believe me, I did more than my fair share of side-projects (with guys who didn’t pencil out as much as they penciled in, if you get my meaning).