This ain’t free, but it might be right affordable, sez my new friend Tryee. I met him maybe a couple months back when I was hittin the bowling alley way late at night, and he’s way cool and wears the bling like nothing else, and his car is hot as hell (it’s like a 90’s Chevy and it’s pimped to the gills and bounced on the right damn times and people next to us at the light love it.)
Thing is I can’t say he’s perfect cool cuz he said he had cop protection but when we got pulled over he was pulled out and arrested (some old traffic ticket he called and told me from jail) and the pigs picked me up and sent me home saying I got saved and protected from him cuz he’s some kind of bad guy but he talked so good and I like him like mad hell.
So what’s my philosofee?
I like to think of myself as a smart woman who knows what the hell is going on around her, and I know I am. He’s not that bad and I’m not stupid about it. I have an internal fourth sense about these things and it’s something better than my sense of smell, so check it.
My phiosofrees are:
- If it feels good, you’d be stupid not to do it.
- If it pays well, you’d be insane not to let it happen.
- If it’s got nose or vein candy just take it and make off,
- If he’s gross just tell him you’re underage and run like hell.
- There’s nothing you can’t get out of, no matter how bad it is, by gobbling like a turkey, you chicken.
- Don’t think about your parents crying thinking about what things you have to do to get by, your parents did it too (both of them, yes) and just shut up, close your eyes, suppress the bad memories, think of your favorite Britney song and use it as your rhythm for what you have to do to get the money you need.
- Don’t be mad if he “hits you baby one more time”
- Go off the pill whenever you can and trap that man if he has a good enough car and retire tomorrow with your interracial baby in tow.
My Philosofee is that I charge only a small fee, and it’s pretty affordable, and I’ll do whatevery I have to to make the whole thing happen cuz I gots mad bills to get paid and you’re my new boss. I work my ass off, but really I work my ass “on”, but it’s really “on” your face, and you like it cux of my age and it’s all flawless so let’s do this.
That’s my phiosofree.
