Check it out, you got kids, and that’s your thang. Maybe your religion said you couldn’t abort them or stuff or maybe you thought the guy would stick around and that’s crazy cuz they never do. Whatever, you’re a mom now and you got screamers in tow to take care of so here is my advice on how to do it.

I’m on the younger side and I don’t have any kids of my own but that so doesn’t matter. I learned all my brain can hold from the best mom this side of San Diego, and she tells me stuff so I know what’s really real and going on.

So you know how it goes right? You do what you do and maybe when you do it, if you do it to the right reasons. I don’t care, and don’t comment on this just read.

Some kids is mature and some adults wear diapers so don’t be too quick to judge just do your best. Don’t spank kids but spank men, but only when they ask for it (and really mean it for reals, Nt my thing but some guys get mad on it so it can’t all be bad.)

Don’t sweat car seats:

When you was kids you didn’t have car seats. My mom told me there were like six of them in the back seat running around and they all did good except uncle Denny who lost that weird eye in a fender bender. Creepy eye, needed to be lost, doesn’t matter. Britney got busted by the photographers for not having kids in car seats but they’re all still OK today so it worked out fine didn’t it?

Let the dad take them sometimes:

Britney proved this better than anybody. She still gets her kids even today but she doesn’t have to hire a babysitter to watch them as long as she’s got that sucky backup singer/dad to sit around and keep them in the binkies while she lives it up at the clubs with other guys. Do that, it’s super healthy.

Pay almost no child support:

If you can’t get a man to pay the child support, but he’ll take the kids all the time, you gotta pay him, but you don’t gotta pay him much. Britney makes $800,000 a month, but she pays K-Fed like $20,000 per kid. Yah he’s getting good money but it’s nothing. It’s pennies on her way mad dollars and no looking back. If you’re on welfare and make $400 a month, tell the judge you’ll pay $10 a month, it’s the same thing You’re the mom, you’ll prolly get it.

Smoke if you’re rich:

Nothing prettier than a young, beautiful corpse. To hell with dying old, go out with a bang and call it good. Smoking is so sweet with the sticky tar that powder coats your lungs with love, and it feels good too and looks cool. If you are a mom and want to smoke, do it, nobody is going to stop you even if you have like wicked asthma.

But how do you know you’re ready to have that kid?

You got a man who wants to do it in you, you’re ready aren’t you? Jerkfricks said Britney wasn’t ready but she’s the best mom this side of the mountains. You have a burn to get a baby (not other burns, those might be a problem) then you ready.